Friday 28 December 2007

Humour in Uniform*

1.


Following an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother, eight noisy and shoving siblings, and I arrived in Germany. "Do you have any weapons or illegal drugs on you?" the customs agent asked my weary mother. "Sir," she said while separating my brother and me, "if I had either of those items, I would have used them by now."__JIM RISDAL


2.


A sign posted on the wall of an Army mess hall read: "Don't Waste Food-- Food will Win the War."


Beneath these words some one had scrawled: "That's fine, but how do we get the enemy to eat here?"


3.


Today, Gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news," said our platoon sergeant during our morning lineup. "First, the good news. Private tomkins will be setting the pace on our run." The platoon began to hoot and holler, since the overweight tomkins was the slowest guy in the group.


"Now the bad news. Private Tomkins will be driving a truck."__ Rick Stover


4.


I was in the perfume


aisle of our base exchange and noticed an airman pick up a bottle and sniff it contents. I told her that I linked her selection. "Oh, I'm not buying any perfume," she responded. "When I get homesick for my mom, I always come here to smell her brand of cologne."


5.


Shortly after joining the army, I was in line with some other inductees when the sergeant stepped forward with that day's assignments. After handing over various tasks, he asked, "Does anyone here have experience with radio communications?"


A longtime ham operator, I shouted, "Ido!"


"Good,"

Monday 24 December 2007

Think

Think once before reading, think twice before talking,, think thrice before writing,,, Think wise before acting.






Cowards

Cowards

Cowards die many times before their death, the valiant never taste death but once._______Shakespeare

Facts///1

1. Fifteen of the worlds major automobile manufactures are now obtaining components from Indian firms.
2. Trade of Indian medicinal plants has crossed Rs. 4000 crore.
3. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans. Caraka, the father of medicine, made Ayurveda strong and firm.
4. The first scheduled airline in the world to enroll a woman Pilot, was Indian Airlines in 1966.
5. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra in Gujarat, Western India.
6. Asian paints is the market leader in 11 of 22 countries of five continents in which it is present including India.
7. Indian scientist M.S. Swaminathan has been greeted by America's 'Time' magazine as one of the twenty most influential Asians of the 20th century. He has been described by the United Nations Environment Programme as father of Eco-Economics.
8. Worlds highest astronomical observatory is situated in India at 4517 metres above means sea level at Ladakh in Jammu & Kashmir State.
9. Sanskrit is the mos suitable language for speech recognition in computer. Principles of Sanskrit grammar given by Panini las down the writing code for use in software in modern times.
10. India has the longest postal network in the world.
11. India is the largest producer of milk in the world. National Dairy Development Board handles more than 10,900 tons of milk daily. This operation has created 6 million rural enterpreneurs. It has generated rural income of over one billion (1000 million) dollars.
12. Hero cycles Ltd is the largest producer of bicycles in the world since 1986.
13. Indian Railways is the largest employer of man-power in the world. It carries more than a million passengers everyday. It has the longest railway platform at Kharagpur and the largest railway station at Howrah, both in West Bengal.
14. Mumbai's (Bombay) suburban railway system carries 59 lakh passengers a day-the highest in the world.
15. Bajaj Auto Ltd., Pune (Maharashtra State), manufactured 'Legend, the world's first four stroke geared scooter on 25 July, 1998.
16. 'Jeevan Rekha Express' set on rails on 16 January 1991 is the world's first hospital on the wheels with free medical and surgical facilities.
17. The special word 'Jaipur foot' in medical language all over the world is contributed by manufacturers of artificial limbs of Jaipur in Rajastan (northwestern India).
*****

Let not your faith make you proud

There was a sincere devotee. For everything he used to say "God will Save Me".

Once there was a great flood. Everywere there was water and water. Not only house but even tall trees were under water. The devotee was living into a two floor house. When the water started rising, he shifted to first floor. A rescue boat reached him and requested him to come along to a safer place. He refused saying "God will save me".
The water reached the first floor and he shifted to second floor. Again the rescue boat reached him but he refused proudly saying "God will save me".
There was no let up in rains and the water level flooded his terrace. For the third time, the rescue boat reached him and again he turned down their request.
There was lightning wich struck him and he died instantly.
When he reached heaven he askede: "God all through my life I have been your sincere devotee but in my calamity you never came to my help. Why did you not save me from the freat floods that overflowed my house?"
God smile and said, "I came to you thrice but you were too proud of your faith to recognise me"..
-------Courtesy: "Manav Dharam"

Laugh-3

Nobler man__

"You should be very, very happy, madam", the fortune teller murmured. "A nobler man than your husband you have yet to meet".

"How exciting! But when?" was the response.

*****

Boy or Girl'

"In today's society, we cannot fing out who is a boy and who is a girl. Se that boy there".

"She is a girl and she is my daughter".

"I am sorry. I did not know that you are her father".

"No, I am her mother".

*****

In what suit

Magistrate to the witness: "Have you ever appeared as a witness before?

Witness: "Yes, my Lord".

Magistrate: "In what suit?"

Witness : "A dark brown suit, my lord".

*****

Arithmetic is bad too

Your history exercise was bad, Ramu, I told you to write it down twenty times, but you have only done it ten times".

"Sorry, madam, but my arithmetic is bad too".

Good Sayings - 24

461. Start the day with love, fill the day with love, end the day with love.

462. Duty without love is deplorable, duty with love is desirable.

463. Hands that help are better than lips that pray.__ Mother Theresa.

464. A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman, of the next generation.

465. When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.__ John Ruskin

466. To find flaws in others is as easy as finding shells on the seashore.

467. To be poor and independent is very nearly an impossibility.__William Cobbett

468. The worst of disease is envy, the best of medicine is health.

469. Help ever - Hurt never.__Baba

470. You may judge a flower or a butterfly by its looks, but not a human being.
--------------------------------------__ Rabindranath Tagore.

471. People generally quarrel because they cannot argue.

472. Fight against ignorance, destitution, disease, and vice. It is sheer madness for man to fight against man.__Zarathushtra

473. When God measures man, He puts the tape around the heart, not the head.__Paul Gold

474. As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.__Seneca

475. He has the right to criticise who has the heart to help.

476. What light is to the eyes, what air is to the lungs, what love is to the heart, liberty is to the soul of man.__R.G. Ingersoll

477. My present is the outcome of my past; and my future would be the outcome of my present.

478. Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.__Benjamin Franklin

479. Discipline is learnt in the school of adversity.

480. It is true with cheerfulness or good temper the more it is spent, the more it remains.

Thursday 20 December 2007

The Acid Rain__

What is acid rain?

Acid rain is the name given to rain, snow or sleet contaminated with acid substances so that its acidity is greater than the limit expected by normal concentrations of carbon dioxide dissolving in the rain to give carbonic acid. The increased acidity is caused by larger concentrations of a number of contaminants, principally the strong acids, nitric and sulphuric, which arise from industrial effluents containing oxides of nitrogen and sulphur.
It can mark fruit and leaves, and adversely affect soil but its main effect is on acquatic ecosystems especially in regions which cannot naturally buffer acidic inputs such as those with thin soils and granite rocks. Disappearance of fish from many scandinavian lakes is largely a result of pollution by acid rain.

Significance of the Satellite ARYABHATTA

When was Aryabhatta launched and what was its overall significance?

Aryabhatta is the name of the first Indian satellite launched on April 19, 1975. The 360-Kg satellite was fabricated wholly by Indian scientists at Peenya, Bengaluru, in 26 months at a cost of Rs. 50 Million.
The satellite was designated Aryabhatta after the fifth century astronomer and mathematician Aryabhatta of Kusumapura near Patliputra, now Patna, who laid the foundation of modern algebra, determined the parameters of the movements of various celestial bodies, calculated the diameters of the Earth and the Moon, and the importance of their movements around the sun.

Hampi__ THE PLACE(of India)

What is Hampi known for?

Hampi in Karnataka has been the seat of the grandeur of the great Vijayanagar Empire and the magnificent ruins one can see today remind us of the glory of Vijayanagar. Early in the fourteenth century this part of the country saw some of the bloody conflicts when the Mughal emperors sent their commanders down South to establish their ascendancy and the systematic resistance offered led to the rise of the Vijayanagar Empire__a citadel of resistance against the political aggrandizement of the Mughals.
Few can afford to forget the name of the great Krishna Devaraya (1509-29 AD), the greatest of the Vijayanagar ruler who brought glory to Hampi and symbolised its golden age. His army defeated the Bahamani Sultans, conquered Telengana and maintained diplomatic relations with the Portuguese. With his death faded the splendour of both Vijayanagar and Hampi which was virtually desecrated by the Mughal invasion. Western historians described Hampi "as large as Rome" and "the best provided city in the world". Some of the landmarks of Hampi can be seen along the banks of the Tungabhadra and the hills nearby. There are famous temples in the vicinity like the Virupaksha Temple dedicated to Lord Siva and the Vitthala Temple.

Stethoscope='='='='='='

Who invented the stethoscope?

In 1816, the French physician Rene Theoplhie Hyacinthe Laennec (1781-1826) introduced a performated wooden cylinder which concentrated the sounds of air flowing in and out of the lungs, and described the sound which it revealed. The modern form of stethoscope, with flexible tubes connection the earpieces to a circular piece placed against the chest, was developed later in the nineteenth century.

Birth details of ____TAOISM

Who was the founder of Taoism and what were the principles Taoism was based upon?
Two great philosophers who influenced the Chinese thought were confucius and Lao-tzu, the latter founding Taoism. Lao-tzu, said to have lived between 604 and 531 practice of thrift, humility and compassion. Form and ceremony held no place in his religion. Some of the other principles preached by Taoism are simplicity, patience, contentment and harmony. Taoism began its decline about AD 906, especially after the T'ang Dynasty, and today its followers number fewer than 52 million, many abandoning it and embracing Buddhism. In 2005, altogether, there were said to be 27,34,000 Taoists worldwide.
According to Taoism, the universe is believed to be kept in balance by the opposing forces of Yin and Yang that operate in dynamic tension between themselves. Yin is female and watery; the force in the moon and rain which reach its peak in the winter; Yang is masculine and solid; the force in the sun and earth which reaches its peak in the summer. The interaction of Yin and Yand is believed to shape all life.
From the fourth century, rivalry between Taoists and Mahayana Buddhists was strong in China, leading to persecution of one religion by the other. This was resolved by mutual assimilation, and Taoism developed monastic communities similar to those of the Buddhists.

Sand /////// Glasssssssss

How is sand turned into glass?

The raw material from which glass is made is silica, the most abundant of all the earth's minerals. Milky white in colour, it is found in beach in the world has been formed by water pounding rocks into tiny particles, sand is the major source of silica. Sand also contains other minerals, but silica is the main component because it is hard, insoluble and does not decompose, as it outlasts the others.
Pure silica has such a higher melting point that no ordinary fire would convert it into glass. It is said that the first glass-makers had lit their fire on sand which was impregnated with soda(compounds of sodium) left behind by evaporated water from a lake of sea. The soda reduces silica's melting point. Today, lime and soda are combined bottles, window panes and cheap drinking glasses. When glass cools, its structure does not return to the crystalline structure of silica, which is opaque. Instead, it forms a disordered structure rather than a frozen liquid, which is transparent. Other metas may be added to provide colour or to improve the quality of finished glass.

Ice Ice __ baby

How can ice float on water?

Ice floats on water because a piece of ice is lighter than the same amount of water. The ice is not very much lighter than the water, so it floats low in the water.

When water freezes to ice, the water molecules line up in rows. But as they do so, the molecules move apart slightly. The ice increases in size as it forms and this gives ice a lower density than water, making it float in water.
The force between the molecules is very strong, and nothing can resist the expansion that occurs as the ice forms. This is why water pipes sometimes bursts when the weather gets warmer, the ice melts and water pours from the cracked pipe. It is unusual for a liquid to expand on freezing, but it is a good thing that water does so. The layer of ice that may form over lakes and the sea in winter prevents the water beneath from freezing.

Feel of Metal

Why does metal feel cold?

When you touch something made of metal, it feels cold. The reason for this is that some heat flows from your fingers into the surface of the metal. Because the skin on your fingers loses heat, it gets cold and the metal feels cold.
Metal objects feel cold in a cool climate because metal is a good conductor of heat. This means that heat flows through metal easily. Heat, therefore, leaves the skin of your fingers and flows into the metal. It does this because your fingers are warmed than the metal. The heat moves on through the metal, so that the surface of the metal does not get as warm as the skin on your fingers. Heat continues to flow from your fingers into the metal, and it feels cold.
Wood or cloth are poor conductors of heat. The surface of an object made of wood or cloth quickly warms up as you touch it, and it does not feel cold.

Monday 17 December 2007

CLOVE__India

Where in India is clove mostly grown and what are its uses?

Clove is used as an antiseptic, in culinary preparations, in pharmaceuticals manufacture, as an ingredient in cogarattes and even in the manufacture of toothpaste. Its multifarious use has given it a prominent place among spices.
The East India company brought clove from its native home in Indonesia to the company's of spices gardens at Courtallam in Tamil Nadu around 1800 AD. Four of these trees have survived to this day, bringing enormous profits to their present owner.
Induced by the success, clove cultivation was extended after 1850 to the Nilgiris (Burliar), the slopes of the Western Ghats and in the then Travancore state. Now, clove is being cultivated in Nilgiris, Tirunelveli, Kanyakumari and Ramanathapuram districts of Tamil Nadu, thiruvananthapuran, Kollam, Kottayam and Kozhikode districts of Kerala and Dakshina Kannada district of Karnataka.

Appearance of Swimmiting Pool

Why does a swimming pool appear less deep than it really is?

This is due to the phenomenon of refraction of light. The rays of light coming from the bottom of the pool (or from the coil lying at the bottom of the can) travel from water to air. As the rays pass from denser (water) to rarer (air) medium they bend away from the normal. When the rays are produced back they form an image of the coil (bottom of the poor) are a point which is a little above the real position. Hence the coil appears to be slightly raised and the pool appears to be less deep than it really is.

Jaya Stambh & Kirti Stambh

Where are Jaya Stambh and Kirti Stambh located?

These are located in Chittorgarh (Rajasthan). Rana Kumbha defeated Mahmud Khilji and to commemorate the victory he constructed a mighty tower, Jaya Stambh, adorned with Hindu scriptures. An older and smaller tower, Kirti Stambh, dedicated to Adinath, the first Jain tirthankar, is also in this town.

Ministry of Food Processing__

When was the Ministry of Food Processing established?

The Ministry of Food Processing Industries was set up in July 1988 to give fillip to the fast growing food processing industries. In the wake of globalisation, the Ministry acts as a catalyst for promoting greater investment in this sector, boosting up exports and creating the right environment for the growth of the sector.

pRECIOUS wORDS fOR hAPPY lIVING...,,,

Faith: =-=-=- Faith is an extraordinary power which mover the wheels making life joyful, successful and peaceful.


Prayer: =-=-= Prayer is a conversation between man and God. Prayers brights in humility, nobility and removes pride, anger and remove paride, anger and other harmful quantities.


"It is better in prayer to have heart without words than words without heart."

Meditation: Meditation is one pointed thinking. When you meditate on your chosen subject, the mind is focussed on one point. Meditation promotes concentration and makes your mind healthy and happy. Meditation helps avoid medication.

Laugh: "Laugh and live long". The day is a waste when you did not laugh. Laughter assures good health, happiness and relaxes body and mind.

Positive thinking: Life is what you make it by your thoughts. Always be optimistic and entertain positive thoughts which propel the mind to achieve your chosen goal.

Good Books: Select good books as you select your friends. A good book helps and a bad book harms. Read the best books are early as possible. Otherwise, you may not have an opportunity to read them at all.

Good friends: Your company shapes your character. "Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are". The influence of good friends is great in shaping your life.

Family: Make it a habit that all the members of your family meet once everyday and discuss freely on subjects of common interest.

Time: Time is precious. The entire riches of the world cannot buy back a minute lost. Do not waste time.

Success: Success is a way of life. Success means different things to different people. But in general success is fulfilment of your burning desire. Make everyday "a day of success".

Imagination: Train your mind to imagine beautiful, graceful and enliving scenes like a great honour to be conferred on you, your near and dear congratulating you on your grand success etc.,

Hard Work: Never postpone your work. Complete your work on time. Hard work gives solace and peace.

Fear: Statistics prove that more people die out of fear than disease. Fear kills, faith saves.

Mind: The most difficult thing in life is to control your mind. If you achieve control of your mind, you can achieve anything in life. When you remember what you want to remember and forget what you want to forget, you have absolute control of your mind. Never be idle. "An idel mind is a devil's workshop".

Exercise: Health is wealth. Exercise keeps you trim, promotes sound health and keeps you free from disease. It can be walking, yoga, jogging or any other aerobic exercise.

Smile: When you wear a smile, there is no need for any ornament. Everyone likes a person with a beaming smile. Smile makes friends. A smile is a passport for good relations.

Simple things: Enjoy simple things like a beautiful rose, a child's smile, sunrise, borderless sea, flying bird, flowing river, a handshake, a hug etc.,

Keep learning: Keep learning. It is an endless process from birth to death. You are in dark, the moment you stop learning.

Food: Eat only when you are hungry and stop eating while you are not hungery. Eat more vegetables and seasonal fruits and Sprouts.

Wit 'n' Wisdom

1. Marry the One___ Don't marry the person you want to live with. Marry the one you cannot live without.

2. Forgiveness__ Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

3. Agrees with me__ My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me.

4. Saving__ Saving is the best thing especially when your parents have done it for you.
5. who do not vote__ Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
6. Mother tongue__ They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets a chance to speak.
7. Laziness__ Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
8. Wise Men__Wise man talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something.
__"Padham Health News."

Good Sayings-23

441. Kindness is an attitude of sympathy along with love and understanding.

442. Man is never punished for his sins but by his sins.

443. Prayer without faith is like flower without fragrance.

444. Better lean peace than fat victory.

445. No bees, no honey; No work, no money.

446. To prevent worry and fatigue, put enthusiasm into your work.

447. The seed grows into the tree patiently and gently.

448. Peace rules the day, whereas reason rules the mind.__ William Collins

449. Deciding what you want most in life is the first step towards achieving it.

450. Riches serve a wise man but cammand fool.

451. Not he who has little, but he who wishes more, is poor.__Seneca

452. He has not learned the lesson of life who does not everyday surmount a fear.__Emerson

453. Study serves for delight, ornament and ability.__Francis Bacon

454. After supper sleep a while, after dinner walk a mile.

455. The wisest man may always learn something from the humblest peasant.__Senn

456. Words cut more than swords; through the wound be healed, yet a scar remains.

457. The most wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed.__Chamfort

458. Have a purpose in life, and having it, throw into your work such strength of mind --------------and muscle as God has given you.

459. Self is lovelessness, love is selflessness.

460. Money comes and goes. Morality comes and grows.

Thursday 13 December 2007

Love Vs Arrange Marriage

A Good Lesson – Love Vs Arrange Marriage
A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have already miss the person...."*
============================================
*"What is marriage then?" the student asked.
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn..... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... this is marriage."

Confidence,Trust, Hope-----------

CONFIDENCE:

1 Day all villagers decided to pray for rain. On the day of prayer all people gathered & only one boy come with umbrella. THATS CONFIDENCE.
TRUST:

Trust should be like feeling of a 1 year old baby, when you throw him in the air, he laughs....
Because he know you will catch him...

HOPE:

Every night we go to bed, have no assurance to get up alive in the nextmorning
But still we have many plans for coming day...

KEEP CONFIDENCE, TRUST IN GOD AND NEVER LOSE HOPE...

Wednesday 12 December 2007

Our Character___Swami Vivekananda

You have to make the character of

Mahavira (Hanuman/Anjaneya) your ideal.

He was a perfect master of his

senses and wonderfully sagacious.

Obedience to the Guru without questioning,

and strict observance of Brahmacharya--

this is the secret of success.

___________________________Swami Vivekananda

Good Sayings-22

421. The best motorist drives with imagination: he imagines that his family is in the car.

422. The one who pursues a goal of evenmindedness is neither happy with gain nor sorry by loss.

423. Wisdom grows in silence and also by listening more than one speaks.

424. A man decides his own fate through the types of thoughts he entertains.
425. Not admitting what you don't know can lead to suspicion about what you do know.
426. The virtuous man who is happy in this life is sure to be still happier in his next.
427. Whatever your powerful mind believes very intensely would instantly come to pass.
428. Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens.__Epictetus
429. Tell me what you are busy about and I will tell you what you are.__Goethe
430. Love never asks; but gives.__Gandhiji
431. Faith, a happy home, and challenging work are the motivating factors for a happy life.__Matthew E. Welsh
432. Being assertive, is protecting your interests without harming other people's rights.
433. A contented man even though poor is happy; a discontented man though rich is unhappy.
434. Like a miser that longeth after gold, let thy heart pant after God.__Sri Rama Krishna
435. Straw eaten by cows turns into milk, while milk drunk by serpents turns into poison.
436. Wealth may decrease, if donated, but knowledge will never if it is imparted.
437. Any story sounds true until someone tells the other side and sets the record straight.
438. The wise approve, anything after scrutiny, whereas fools are led by other's opinions.
439. Untrained intelligence is as much of use as a bottle without an opener.__Duke of Edinburgh
440. No one can worship God nor love his neighbour on an empty stomach.__ Woodrow Wilson

Good Sayings-21

401. Work is the grand cure of all the maladies and miseries that ever worry mankind.__Thomas Carlyle

402. The trouble with the future is that it usually arrives before we are ready for it.__Arnold Glasow.

403. Suffering brings wisdom, pleasure takes it away.__Paramahansa Satyananda

404. A thing of beauty is a joay for ever.__John Keats.

405. Prosperity makes friends and adversity tries them.

406. Anyone can be polite to a king, but it takes a gentlemen to be polite to a beggar.

407. Excellence is the result of always striving to do better.__Pat Riley

408. That man is great, who can use the brains of others to carry on his work.__Donn Piatt

409. A great man is made of qualities that make great occassions.__J.R.Lowell

410. Two things are bad for the heart -- running upstrains and running down people.

411. Be honest and hard working. Hard work is equal tro prayer.__Lal Bahadur Sastri.

412. Hatred does not cease by hatred but only by love; this is the eternal rule__Budda.

413. Learning from the experience of the elders is the greatest homage paid to them.

414. When there is no peril in the fight there is no glory in the triumph.__Corneille
415. Good health and good sense are two of life's greatest blessings.
416. To be proud of learning is the greatest ignorance.
417. All the treasures of earth cannot bring back one lost moment!
418. An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.
419. Everything in the modern home is controlled by switches except the children.
420. Silence is the ornament of the illiterate especially in the assembly of learned men.

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