Be Careful What You Wish For.. Sri Rameshji

We often think that our wishes and aspirations are the main cause of pain and sorrow in life and thus all spiritual gurus advocate people to be free from them.  For peace, one needs to be free from all kinds of desires and remain content with whatever one has.

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While it is true that desire can cause pain and sorrow in life, we must also realise that there are certain wishes that bring happiness and joy in life.  We must be able to clearly distinguish between wishes that bring pain and the ones that lead to joy.  It is important that we know as to what kind of desire can cause pain and what kind of desires can give happiness.

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DESIRES WHICH GIVE PAIN AND SORROW ARE :

•  The desire to acquire more and more materialistic things - wealth, name fame, position, status, reputation, riches, self-respect, etc.  When it is fulfilled, it leads to new desires; when it remains unfulfilled, it leads to disappointment.  One is never satisfied with what one has and never reaches a level of contentment.
• The desire to be free from pain, sorrows, adverse situations, bad luck, troubles and the desire to be away from people who give pain and sorrow.
•  The desire to always get favourable result for all efforts, actions, reactions, activities.

In this creation, there is no rule that every desire will be fulfilled and that too within a given time frame.  That's why there is always a component of disapointment and sorrow in the desire to acquire something or the other in the world.

 

DESIRES WHICH GIVE JOY, PEACE, HAPPINESS AND SALVATION ARE:

• The desire to be "desire-less":  One is content with what one has and does not want to acquire anything more.  In fact, one is greateful to the God for whatever He has given and uses the available resources in helping others, uplifting the downtrodden, serving poor and aged, promoting and protecting nature, religious sentiments etc.
• The desire for everybody's happiness, success, health, wealth, growth, prosperity, harmony.  One does not like even one's enemies to suffer in any way and one is always in a mode of forgiving and seeking forgiveness.  Prayers for everybody's well being is the most important aspect of life.  "Loka Samasta, sukhino bhavantu" means, may all beings in this world live happily.
• The desire for salvation, liberation and enlightenment - to be free from the vicious cycle of karma and from the cycle of birth, death and rebirth.

 These three desires are godly desires and divine in nature, hence are the givers of peace, happiness and eventually liberation.  Even God helps fulfil these three desires....

 

....."Shri Rameshji is a modern age spiritual guru and founder of Poorna Ananda, a centre for spiritual evolution and joyfil living." 

 

Id Mubarak, Bhaijaan

Id originates from the Arabic root word "Aud" that denotes returning times and again.  Id is an Islamic festival that returns every year to spread peace, kindness, brotherhood and equality among people irrespective of castle, creed and religion.  Silence it is also observed as a festival of distributing charity, it's called Id-ul-Fitr.

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The word "firt" or "fitra" means a form of charity from the rich to the poor to help them celebrate Id with festive joy.  Id is not just about feasting on delicious food and wearing fancy clothes, it stands for promoting a humane and noble spirit in the society.
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Id-ul-Fitr signifies living with the true spirit of brotherhood and showing compassion for the poor.  It is actually meant to achieve the highest spiritual status through selfless services towards the less fortunate ones.  Islam is a social religion that seeks to establish a well-mannered society; therefore, it reiterates the importance of good manners through different ways.  Id is one such way to imbibe this basic Islamic value among people in a festive spirit.
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Characterising men of good manners, the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:  "The best among you is Islam are those with the best manners, so long as they develop a sense of understanding".  To build an idea Muslim personality, one should be generous, compassionate, humble and sincere.
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The observance of Id, in its expanded sense, symbolizes the very; bright side of an Islamic personality.  These social virtues are reflected in the true Islamic manners being displayed on the day of Id in a way that pleases others and does not cause harm to anyone.  This is precisely why Islam has enjoined that, particularly on this day, Muslims share food with others, distribute fitrah (charity) to the poor, organise feasts and invite friends and neighbours.  Obviously, such noble activities help us strengthen bonds of love, mutual harmony, brotherhood and social integrity....  GHULAM RASOOL DEHLVI is a Delhi-based writer.
 

Good Sayings - 53

1041.  The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out.  _ Macaulay.

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1042.  The world will never disarm until disambitioned.

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1043.  Every man is an omnibus in which his ancestors ride. _ O.W. Holmes

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1044.  What we earnestly aspire to be, that is some sense we are.  _ Anna Jameson

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1045.  It is safer to hear and take counsel than give it.

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1046.  Stability itself is nothing else than a more sluggish motion. _ Montaigne.

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1047.  All things are admired either because they are new or because they are great.  _ Bacon.

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1048.  We ask advice, but we mean approbation. _ C.C. Colton

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1049.  Anger wishes all mankind had only one neck; love, that is had only one heart.  _ J.P. Richter

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1050.  Anger makes a rich man hated, and a poor man scorned.

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1051.  Truth, goodness and beauty are but different faces of the same all.  _  Emerson

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1051.  Begging a courtesy is selling liberty.

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1052.  Principles have no real force except when one is well fed.  _  Mark Twain

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1053.  It is an error to suppose that courage means courage in everything. _ Aeschylus

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1054.  If the heart be right, it matters not which way the head lies.  _Sir Walter Raleigh

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1055.  A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners.  _ Chesterfield

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1056.  A civil denial is better than a rude grant.

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1057.  Cowards do not count in battle; they are there, but not in it.  _Euripides

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1058.  We easily forget crimes that are known only to ourselves. _ La Rochefoucauld

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1059.  Silence is sometimes the severest criticism.  _  Charles Buxton

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1060.  Curiosity is little more than another name for hope.  _ A.W. & J.C. Hare

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Recharge and Regain Lost Youth

"I get upset by rash and rebellious teenagers.  Why can't they behave properly?"__ Harish, 52 Years...

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The "rash" teenage mind appears naturally rebellious to you, friend.  In face it isn't rebellious at all.  I would prefer to say that your mind has been tamed and tethered.  It's your mind that won't stray from its confines.  It's your mind that gets upset when someone does not conform to the behaviour patterns that you have succumbed to.  

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Truly the teenage mind is free from the bondage.  It hasn't yet yet surrendered to fate, to society, to lethargy.  It's still alive and kicking.  Its very nature is to experiment, and when it looks at something, it sees it as you would have seen it when you were a teen yourself - as something fresh and new.  Alas, your memories of your youth seem to have faded, and you might not recall those heady days anymore.  As we grow older, our minds get more and more brittle - unless we step in and consciously, deliberately make it flexible once more.

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Youth has exuberance but no experience.  Old age has experience but no exuberance.  If you can recharge your lost energy and enthusiasm you will enjoy the best of both worlds.  You will never again complain about rash teenagers because you will be a bit "rash" yourself, and be busy enjoying every minutes of it.

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The whole problem comes when we think that we have become too old.  When we lock ourselves with notions of "proper behaviour".  Get rid of the notion of "proper behaviour".

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 Become ageless - which means gain the ability to be any age you want to be.  Come on, it's not too difficult.  At 52 your mind must be urging you to do so many things.  Lose weight, do Yoga, become flexible, walk, run, get a fit body, whatever.  Just do what your mind is asking you to do.  Spend a minute each day remembering your teenage days.  These simple things will surely make you youthful once again.

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The worst thing a man in his fifties can do is to criticise youth for their behavior.  The only cure for that is to become young yourself.  Sure, other oldies will add your name in their list of complaints; but that's their problem isn't it?

******* ________  Mani Shankar, The Author, a director, helps the youth strike a balance in their relationships

Our Country Needs Its Youth To Have A Mind

Q. I am going through a very painful situation currently.  I love a girl and we were together for two years.  But she left me for another guy.  I am heartbroken.  Now, I want to die.  She is my first love and I can't imagine living without her:  What can I do Sir?  Please help me....

A.  I understand and respect your feelings.  I agree that it can be painful, but I also want you to make the right choices.  I'm happy that you wrote to me.  My dear, in life, many a times, things do not work out.  It has happened to me.  It has happened to everyone.  There are times when someone may find comfort with someone else and it could have been you.  I agree you will feel low and bad and unhappy, but you are young and there is a lot more you can do.  I also want you to acknowledge and respect her decision and let her go.  You have your parents, your friends.  You need to work hard, earn money, change your mindset.  Our country needs its youth to have a mind, to be decision makers, to be progressive, happy, respectful and these things in the process are only going to benefit you.  Feel bad about it but don't let it be the only thing you do.  Time heals and it goes for all.  Being strong, doing the right thing is important.

Q.  I am 20 years old.  I am in a relationship with a guy who is from different caste.  Our families will not accept our relationship.  We are aware that we cannot marry, still we talk for long hours.  We can't even elope and get married because for my partner his parents come first.  I cry every time I think about the time I think about the time we are going to break up.

A.  Well, I'm sorry about your dilemma and I'm sorry that you feel low.  Relationships can be the best thing, that happen to us.  However, it's important to ask yourself questions that set your priorities right.  In this world full of insecurity and complexities, both of you can make things easier by just asking your parents and explaining to them how you feel.  If you think that they are not going to agree anyway and he does want to respect his parent's wishes, the right thing and healthy thing to do would be to change your equation - be friends.  It will be tough.  However, when one gets married it's important to have a healthy equation even with your own family.  We bring children into the world and have an added responsibility to give them warmth, love, security and make good human being out of them.  So when you think of being married and making a family, if you understand the dynamics of being healthy emotionally and secure in the choices you make, you will make it easier on children.

              Seeing the current scenario, I can't help but realise that healthy relationships, happiness, security and love is what we need to give our children and teach them to be good human beings....  ANUPAM KHER, The renowned action....

How To Tackle The Green - Eyed Monster _ MANI SHANKAR

I am all J over the way my ex-GF is making out with another guy and burning up with rage for weeks.  Can't think of anything else.  Help._ A teenager.

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I am going to make a scalpel out of my pen and harsh as it may seem, do a surgical incision.  J kills.  Yup.  But you know that already and you seem to want exactly that - to be drowned in such stupor that you begin to die slowly inside.  You get so obsessed that you secretly want all vestiges of compassion and camaraderie to get snuffed out of existence.  As emotions go jealously is among the more jealous of emotions.  It leaves no room for any other mood to exist.  Sure it satisfies you in certain obscure ways, just as a cigarette satisfies the smoker - in some obscure way.

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Ask a smoker exactly what pleasure he derives and he will be at a loss to explain - same with jealousy.  You can't explain why at every moment your mind drifts towards morbid fantasies but you sure do get a grim satisfaction from the addiction.  Make no mistake, once it takes it grip like a python coiling around a rat - it suffocates the life breath of goodness and smothers you to a horrible heart-death.  You become a shell of a person with no warmth, no humour, no happiness left.  Are you sure you want to get cured?  Had enough?

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Then stop feeling so self-important, stop feeling you are the centre of the universe around whom everyone should revolve.  Change the fulcrum of your existence.  Rise into a protecting nurturing wisdom.  Grant people the right to love others, to make love to others.  Grant people the right to see through you, to get fed up with you, to walk out on you.  Truly nobody is your own in this world.  Wow.  That was very harsh, yes, and I need to say it again with a smile.  Nobody is your own in this world.  Just because society said the two of you are a couple doesn't take away from the other the right to think otherwise.  Your real option is to free the other and set yourself free in the process.

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You have arrived at a crossroad and two paths lie before you.  The first is the smooth well traveled highway of jealous burning.  If you don't take the harder road of forgiveness now, someday when the juices run dry and you shrivel up inside into a brittle twig of your former self, the truth will hit you in the face.  You will understand that it was far better to have become humble, accepted your insignificance and walker away a free person than to have burnt into black toast with the raging fires of envy.

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The smart guy knows when to fume and rage and when to shrug and walk away.  The intelligent guy knows when to let pride flow into him and when to let pride flow away from him.  This soft skill of handling jealously is critical and life saving, friend.  Learn it well and live to love another day.

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"MANISHANKAR, THE AUTHOR, A DIRECTOR, HELPS THE YOUTH STRIKE A BALANCE IN THEIR RELATION SHIPS................"

VOW TO CHERISH AND LOVE MYSELF BEYOND ANYTHING.. Mani Shankar

Inspire myself with myself.  Not with hollow words or empty gazes into vacant spaces but with the silent energy of my vital being.  I am my only true friend and companion.  I am both - the alpha and omega - the beginning and end of me.  I know that when I am gone, this Universe I see and know shall have gone with me, yet I recklessly throw away each day without inspiring myself.  Every day when I wake up, I look seemingly whole, but get broken into pieces as the day progresses.  By night, I am torn and fragmented.  All day I don so many masks before the many masks of others, become so many people to so many people, I sometimes don't know who I am anymore.  Enough.  From this day I shall not tear myself out of fear or anger, or if I do, I shall patiently re-join the fragments with love until I am whole again.

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I shall cherish my family, honour my friends and I shall enjoy this world, but above all, I shall love myself deeply.  I shall love the spirit of life that flows out of my body, the deep intelligence that created me, pumped this heart to feel the gladness pouring out of my being.

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No. girlfriend or boyfriend, lover, husband wife, father, mother, daughter or son, no books, no website, no text messages, no news, no TV channels or columns of newspapers can ever know me as much as I know myself.  They are my links to the world, but they also sometimes hook me with the bright bait of desire, they make me salivate to wants that are not my wants, make me a slave to passions that never rose from my heart in the first place.  This is the primary seed of confusion, the main cause of agony.  All these desires that are not my desires, these goals that are not my goals - and this madness that arises from the fear that I will never live up to the world's expectation of me.
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I abandon the expectations of this world.  I shall only live to fulfill the passions that pour out of my own heart, utter words that speak through my own voice and realise desires that bear the true signature of my being.
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I inspire myself with the rhythms of my own heart.  I shall listen to what it tries to tell me in its soft beats, ask questions and wait till I hear replies in signs, songs and clues, till I feel gently awakened to the desires that flow in the deep rivers of my being.  I shall follow the song of my heart from this day.  I shall only do what inspires me, what motivates me, what makes me deeply happy - for that is the only way I shall be true to myself and this world.
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The future is never a mystery to those who care to see it clearly infold in their hearts.  I will see myself not only as who I am, but also always as who I want to be.
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I inspire myself with myself.  Heart with mind.  Action with passion.  And above all, life with love deep enduring love that is the silent energy of my vital being.
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FROM THIS DAY I SHALL NOT TEAR MYSELF OUT OF FEAR AND ANGER, OR IF I DO, I SHALL RE-JOIN THE FRAGMENTS WITH LOVE UNTIL I AM WHOLE AGAIN......

Makings Of A Great Hero.... MANI SHANKAR

I get up every morning and tell myself I want to enjoy life at office today.  But I end up preoccupied, nervous or just plain sad.  At night, I look back and realise that I failed once again.  Tell me how to enjoy life.  Make it a short answer, something I can hold in my heart.............. -- Divya, Age 26

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Swami Vivekananda once famously said, "This world can only be enjoyed by Heroes."  Nobody said it better.  So, if you want to enjoy your life, be a Hero.  That's your short answer.  Hold that in your heart everyday.

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Now, for the long explanation.  For starters, "Hero" isn't gender specific.  It doesn't mean a male matinee idol.  It doesn't mean a sports sensation or a rock star.  It doesn't mean the celebrities, the champions or the men we sometimes wished we were.  A hero is none of them.  Hero is actually a state of mind.  It's your response to the world - your reflection of your inner-self.

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How do you become a hero?  To begin with, be on good terms with all persons, with the world, with the situation you find yourself in right now.  A hero never rages against reality.  She accepts her reality even as she moves to change it.  Anger isn't her favorite emotion.  She is calm, in the face of adversity, has the strength to smile when others feel the need to cry.

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A hero never compares herself to others.  She knows that there will always be someone better, fairer, sexier, smarter, richer, more successful than herself.  She has the courage to feel good about anyone who is in that list, and has the strength not to let them shake her aim or goal.

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A hero is interested in her own career, however humble it may seem.  She knows the world has a way of putting down everyone.  She will learn to ignore the world and pursue whatever she does till she does it fantastically well, for she knows that is the gateway to future success.

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A hero is always looking for virtues in others.  Even though she knows there are more frauds than good people, she is never hesitant to seek and praise goodness, greatness or any other virtue in anyone.  She can do that because she is confident of herself.  Her foundations are rock solid within, and this liberates her.  She is nobody's fool.  When she cuts someone down, it is with minimum force - done with poise and grace.

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A hero is gentle on herself.  She knows how precious her life is, how beautiful all life is.  She knows she is a visitor to this planet, here on a short holiday, and it's important to have fun in every moment.  So nothing really needs to be taken very seriously.

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She is smart enough to know that if she doesn't live her present moment in happiness, she isn't likely to live the future moment either. 

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So look at yourself every morning, Divya, look at the inner self, look at the true your, till a radiant smile spreads across your face.  You know you are a hero.  You will live today like a hero.

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Nothing and nobody will come in your way, for you hold the keys to your life, and your happiness is solely in your hands.  Now go ahead and have a truly great day.... 

Allot Worry A Small Slot In Mental Circuit... ANUPAM KHER

The renowned actor decodes the finer nuances of human psyche and behaviour and shows the route to self-improvement...

Anxiety has never been judged as a positive emotion.  It is linked with everything that is worthy of being discarded - nervousness, worry, stress and many more.  People with the anxiety syndrome are not too difficult to detect either.

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They are tense, edgy, have a nervous look about them and they display a giveaway sometimes.  Like nervously biting their nails, or even chewing a handkerchief.  For them, life is a series of worries; will their child come back safely from school, will their children pass in their exams this year, do you think the maid is thinking about quitting her job?

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And the worries are not just about the todays.  They stretch into tomorrows and the days after.  Will the children find suitable life partners, will the spouse remain faithful to them when they grow old, what happenes if they contract a life threatening disease?

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In contrast, there are the what-me-care types; the people who have never known a worry.  They go through life blithely, having never known what a crinkled frown is.  You may think that such people are darned lucky.  But pause awhile and consider the baggage that such an attitude brings.

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They never review their lives, never look back in introspection - let alone in anger - they just coast along from day to day.  Is this the correct state of bliss to be in?  Certainly not.

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So you will realise that sometimes what we perceive to be a good state of being is also fraught with a lot of pitfalls.  If the worrier is caught up  in his thoughts and cannot break away from them to carry on with constructive endeavours, the what-me-worry folk may not be doing any mid-course correction at all and may go on from blunders to disasters.

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Contrary to what we are led to believe, the worrier therefore may actually be sometimes better off than someone who never worries.  The ideal situation would of course be to have a blend of both; to worry just a little, not overtly.

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Unfortunately, it is the worriers that are always noticed, not the never-worry folks.  Only those close to the latter know that beneath their self-assured facade may lie a lifetime of errors.

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What does one do to stop worrying all the while?  For starters, one should consciously limit one's worrying hours.  Instead of getting vexed all the time, it would be a good first step to curtail worry time to say, an hour at a fixed time.  That would make the person conscious of his tendency when his mental circuitry gets into the loop.

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Snap out of it and wait till the appointed hour.  I find this method more effective than telling people to put a blanket ban on putting on their worry caps.

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And what should those people who are without a care do?  They should stop believing that they are in a state of bliss.  It is time for them to wake up and get real about their life and routine.  As I say, it is time to take a close look in the mirror...... ANUPAM KHER

Hope is the best miracle worker in life... Anupam Kher

THE CHANGE WITHIN

I had written some weeks ago about now different people have different ways of coming to terms with the loss of a loved one.  What is  however infinitely more difficult than coping with death, is coping with near-death.  I am referring to people who are living with terminal illnesses, like cancer, AIDS, or diseases of the autoimmune system which have no cure, as yet.  

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Not only are many such patients unable to accept reality when confronted with it, but there is a huge proportion of patients who buckle down mentally as disease destroys them slowly, ever so slowly.  Therefore, to help them countenance their fate, almost all such illnesses have large support groups.  That is why in such cases, there is a debate on whether the patients ought to be informed about the true state of their health or not.

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Last week I met two survivors of the Big C at a funeral occasion.  It was at the mourning ceremonies of one of the most energetic actors of yesteryear, Shammi Kapoor, who crossed the Great Divide.  At the ceremony, I met the scion of one of the country's largest film production houses, who was looking paler than usual.  He was one of the brightest youngsters in the industry and was working on offering entertainment on the internet and also on cellphones.  Now, he had lost some weight and some of his crowning glory.  I asked him what the matter was.  "I am down with cancer," he said starkly.  "But cancer has chosen a wrong victim... I am determined to fight back," he said,with determination in his eyes.

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At the same place, I also met another woman who also told me about her battle with cancer.  "I read your columns which are filled with hope," she said.  "And now you must write about people like us, and give others who are battling such illnesses, hope..."  So here I am madam.
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And I realised then that my younger brother Raju too had successfully, and very bravely, waged a battle against cancer a few years ago.  Raju was down with cancer of the urinary bladder and a stage came when the surgeons had to remove his bladder completely to save him.  That entailed him to a life with a catheter sticking out of him and his fluid being collected in a pouch by his side.  Not a pleasant existence for anyone.  But miraculously, the surgeons managed to fashion a bladder from his large intestine, sparing him the indignity of life with a puch.  Raju has been back on his feet since then, busy acting and directing television shows and doing the things he had always been doing.

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Very often, life does not end with such illnesses.  There are thousands of cases of people who have fought back and overcome such illnesses.  The genius of physicist Stephen Hawking is one shining example.  As I say, a bend in the road is not always the end of the road.............

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THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF CASES OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE FOUGHT BACK AND OVERCOME WHEN THE DOCTORS HAD WRITTEN THEM OFF..........

How To Develop A Good Self-Image

We all tend to think too little of ourselves, and so we fail to achieve more than a fraction of our true potential.

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The self-image is the key to human personality.  Change the self-image and you change the personality and the behaviour.

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We always act in accordance with our self-image, and our feelings and behaviour are always consistent with this inner picture of ourselves.  This is the blue print from which our subconscious mind works.

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Be entirely positive.  List only your good points.  Write down the things that you can do.  The things that you are better than others.  The things you are proud of.

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Constantly work at the idea of a new positive attitude.

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Be sure, therefore, to picture strongly to yourself the kind of person you wish to be.

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Mentally see yourself acting with courage and determination in the given situation.  Do this repeatedly and you will soon form a habit of acting courageously.

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Try to picture yourself as an outgoing, friendly person when others love to be with you.

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It is the little things you do each day - the way you react to what is happening, how you develop good feeling for others, what you are constantly thinking about yourself, and how this expresses itself through you day-by-day - that gradually builds up your self-image.

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FEAR : THE CAUSE... Swamy Purushottamananda

More and more students are developing various fear complexes and phobias than ever before.  In all aspects of their life, fear seems to be stopping them from going ahead.  Often, they are found to be afraid for no apparent reason.  Many students again, are afraid for reasons which they cannot express to others.  Even those in the prime of their youth are found to be devoid of courage and a spirit of adventure.  Swami Vivekananda thundered, "I want iron wills and hearts that do not know how to quake."  But, alas! youths who should actually radiate energy and be filled with bravery and courage are often seen to exhibit their opposite qualities!  When a challenging situation comes up, by taking part in which, these youths could develop these positive qualities in their personality, they are found to be strangely backing out beating a retreat and accepting failure, all in a queer and stupid manner.  What is the reason?  Lack of Self-Confidence.

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A weak body is the root cause for this lack of Self-Confidence.  Added to this weak body is a weak mind that further complicates the matter.  A weak mind is a safe heaven for fear and cowardice.  "I am inclined to believe that one who is a coward will be born after death as an insect or a worm..." said Swami Vivekananda.  A young mind is a storehouse of unbounded energy and enthusiasm.  And this great curse of weakness is ruining it and destroying personalities.  So, students must recognise the reasons for the ruin of their personality and make the best use of time in their formative years.

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As a student, you should know that it is quite possible to overcome fear.  The sooner this conviction comes to your, the better.