12- Pack

A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, ''Well, you see that 3-pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.''

The son then asks his father, ''What's the 6-pack for?''

The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.''

Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for.

The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for.....''

Sex Math 101

What kind of math don't they teach in school?

How to add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs, and multiply!

A Husband's Moment of Realization

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear?" She asked gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck."

Let The Rose Grown Within You

Once a man planted a rose plant and watered it regularly. One day, he saw a bud appearing on the plant. Suddenly he felt that the bud cannot blossom into a beautiful flower as the plant is infested with thorns all over. He was so saddened and despaired that he stopped watering the plant. Soon it died.
***
The simple tale has a lot to do with us. Very few of us realise that there is a rose within us. The God-like sweet qualities are implanted in our hearts when we are born. They grow amid the thorns of our faults. When we look at ourselves and others we see only faults beyond mending. We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly be found in and around us. We totally neglect or fail to find the hidden goodness in us and we never realize our own latent potential to improve and change ourselves.
***
Sometimes we need someone else to show what we are. One of the greatest gifts we possess is our ability to overcome the thorns within us and find our own good 'self'. This is the chief characteristic of love, which helps us look at the persons, knowing their faults, recognise their nobility and help them to overcome their faults. If we show them the rose, they can conquer the thorns. Hence it is our duty to help others by showing their roses and not merely their thorns. Only then it is possible to develop Harmony among people around us....

Old King Who Wanted To Becom Young

There was once an intelligent but greedy King. Though he had done much for the betterment of the people, he was selfish in his desires.

***

As years passed, the King grew old and lost his physical strength. He had a strong desire that he should become young once again. He was prepared to offer half the kingdom to any person who can make him young by any means. He called the minister and said, "Go in search of someone who can give formula or medicine to make me young once again".
***
The minister was amused. He knew that birth, groth, decay and death are natural. But he had to carry out the order of the king. The minister, with a group of soldiers, went in search of a person who could make the king young. He went through villages, towns and even forests. Some people laughed at the idea, some kept quiet out of fear and some felt that the king might have become mentally unsound.
***
As the minister was going through a forest, he came across a sait doing penance under a banyan tree. His face was radiating divine light and grace. After some time the saint opened his eyes and observed the minister standing in front of him. With a smiling gesture, he questioned him the purpose of his visit.
***
The minister with all humility touched the feet of the holyman and explained, "Respected holyman, our king is keen to regain his lost youth. I request you to make him young with your powers".
***
The saint softly laughed. After thinking for a minute he said in a very pleasant voice, "With the grace of God and with the power I have acquired through long penance I can make your king young once again. But on one condition".
***
The minister was surprised at the unexpected assurance given by the holyman. With all earnestness he bowed and said prayerfully, "King holyman, I am happy to know that my king's desire would be fulfilled. He will cooperate in every respect. He is even prepared to offer half the kingdom to anyone who can make him young. Kindly tell me what is to be done by my king".
***
The saint smiled once again and replied, "What can I do with the kingdom? I am a saint living in that small hut spending time in prayers. I have no expectation. But I will give you a medicine. Every day your king should stand before a mirror and apply the medicine on his face. While applying the medicine, he should not think of a monkey. If this condition is fulfilled, within a week's time young king will become young once again".
***
The minister was over joyed and said, "Swamiji, this is a very simple condition. My king will definately follow your instructions and receive your blessings".
***
With the belssings of the saint, the minister carried the medicine to the king. To the great delight of the king he narrated how the saint was kind enough to give the medicine ona simple condition.
***
The king very much pleased. He ordered the minister to announce a week's festivities throughout the kingdom hoping that he would become young once again.
***
The king started using the medicine. The moment he took the medicine to apply on his face, he thought of a monkey. He tried his best not to think of a monkey. But he was unable to drive away the image of monkey from his mind.
***
At last he became desparate and threw away the medicine. He realised that it was impossible for him to use the medicine without thinking of a monkey. He understood that the saint made him wise that youth once lost cannot be regained. He also learnt that the age is to the mind but not to the body... Moral...:-- The most difficult thing in life is to control one's mind...
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