Derail Your Negative Thoughts... ANUPAM KHER

THE RENOWNED ACTOR DECODES THE FINER NUANCES OF HUMAN PSYCHE AND BEHAVIOUR AND SHOWS THE ROUTE TO SELF-IMPROVEMENT...

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One of the enduring issues of contemporary life is that there are too many negative things happening, and too few positives.  Whether you open the news papers or watch the news on television or just look around you, you will see that the number of bad guys far outnumber the good guys.  And the sad part is that it is becoming increasingly difficult to distinguish the good from the bad.

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In a world bereft of role models, where the mass media confuses rather then analyses, the negatives are coming across as more alluring and exciting; the good is looking boring.  Apart from the obvious confusion of values, the other aspect is the increasing amount of people who are beginning to feel negative in their outlook.

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Last month I met a woman in her twenties, who is in the advertising business and is typical of many people of her generation.  She confessed to me that she was very negative in her attitude; about people, about relationships and about her future.  It was not that she was a victim of some unfortunate circumstances; far from it.  But just looking at the world around her; and at her colleagues and at the entire business of media hyping the wrong people and ignoring the right ones, and had made her sick to her gills.  It had come to a stage where she could see nothing positive in anything that happened to her.

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She is not alone.  Actually, she may just be a cynic and not a negative personality.  But the loneliness of the big cities, where youngsters follow dreams, is a recipe for negativism and depression to flourish.  Many people I meet are consumed with depression to flourish.  Many people I meet are consumed with depressive thoughts like, "Nothing good will come out of this interview."  "I can never get this job... I am a born loser."  Such feelings are self-fulfilling and ultimately strangulate the personality they feed on.

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The sad part is that thoughts do not remain mere thoughts.  What is little known is that our thoughts trigger off chemicals in our brains which send electrical impulses across the brain and create neural pathways.  The more we keep getting such negative thoughts, the more our brain keeps getting hardwired to being receptive to such thoughts.  So the trick is to break them.

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I have already mentioned in my earlier column the concept of reciting backwards the numerals from 50 to one.  Such an exercise breaks our thought process and forces us to focus on the count.  Another method is to chant a poem or a hymn or a mantra to derail the negative thought.  To break the negative thought process, think of the positives in your life or any happy event.  Like your last vacation, or the fun-filled party you attended.  Or just the happy and warm moments you shared with your family.

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And finally, one of the most important things to do is to have a circle of positive friends who will bolster you with optimism.  That is why they say, "Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you what you are!".................

TO BREAK THE NEGATIVE THOUGHT PROCESS, THINK OF THE POSITIVES IN YOUR LIFE OR ANY HAPPY EVENT.....

Unite With The Supreme Force.. MALLIKA BHATIA

THE WRITER IS A COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGIST AND A HOLISTIC HEALER.  HER WORK REVOLVES AROUND HELPING PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THEIR FEELINGS...

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So 2012 is here!  We hope you and your loved ones have a brilliant year ahead.  But tell me, what was the first thing you did today after you woke up?  Did you check all the mess left behind after the party last night?  Did you solemnly vow to follow all the resolutions you made?  Or did you pray to God for this year to be fulfilling in all the ways that you have planned?

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Most of us being every new event with a prayer.  It could be in the form of a havan when we move into a new house or office; a simple aarti on a day we consider important and auspicious; salat five times a day, the first of which is also at the very beginning of the day or the mass on Sundays or special days or a paath.

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There are many other forms of prayer depending on our religious and personal beliefs.  Some of us like to pray with rituals, for some it is as simple as lighting a candle or incense and for some others it is just a silent conversation in our minds with our God.  The fact is whatever our form of prayer is, the intention is always the same: for our prayers to be answered.

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Our styles of praying reflect our beliefs and perceptions about God, they also reflect how we internally and externally connect with God and how we connect with ourselves.  Some of us believe that God is a higher entity, somewhere up there, looking at us and our actions, some believe that God is within and we are completely one with Him.  That He speaks to us and through us.  Some believe that God chooses special people to speak to us - gurus, saints.  Even in all these beliefs the common factors is the intent to get what we desire through varied forms of prayer.

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The important thing to focus on is what do we pray for?  Do we mostly only ask for new material possessions like a new car, house or the latest version of an iPad or iPhone?  Or do we ask for learning, growth, success, abundance and happiness?

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There is truly no harm in asking for material things like i-gadgets as long as we remember that the most important and common aspect of all these i-gadgets is the "I".

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If we can focus on the "I" and its growth, we will always get abundance in most aspects of our lives.  Happiness will flow, satisfaction, peace and success will bow to us.

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So when you pray, make sure you choose your prayer wisely.  Be careful of what you ask for because the chances that you might get it are high.

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Pray for yourself and for others.  Value what you have and value the power of prayer.  If you ever find yourself doubting the value of prayer, as its value to the family members of seriously ill patients.  And always remember, I dram.  I achieve, I pray because I am..... MALLIKA BHATIA