Cyber Relationships Ruin Real Ones....

With more and more people turning to the online world for comfort, real relationships are being sidelined...........

Chatting, Pinging, Emailing, Twittering and texting - the cyber world is throwing newer forms of connecting with people, every other month.  Innovation, something that usually took years to develop, is now literally taking place with a snap of a finger.  While it is great for technological progress, is it really that great for relationships?

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Many being online interactions with no serious intent except to connect, have fun, network and 'be around" as they put it.  "If you aren't on Facebook you're pretty much an old hat and better relegate yourself to a tomb," say the with-it, who are always connected and available.  "What! You've got to be kidding, you don't know how to twitter?  Get a life babe/dude.  You'd rather have been born in the 16th century," is yet another common perception.  With comments like these, youngsters, who may not be web-savvy, are literally arm-twisted into being "connected'.  They fear that if they don't, they'd be looked upon as 'un-cool" and be the odd ones out.

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What starts off as a way to get familiar with people eventually turns into a dependence of sorts, with people freaking out if their Internet connections are down for even a few hours.  It slowly veers into personal space where couples who usually "communicated" inter-personally, now prefer to sit silently next to each other, busy with his/her laptop "communicating" with an unknown stranger.

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Often, the ramifications on relationships aren't too evident.  Over time however, it eats into special time and before one knows it, one has transgressed into an emotional connect with an online person who "listens", makes no judgments, completely accepts you for what you are and allows you to vent.  Since virtual buddies don't live with each other, it makes it easier for them, to be more accepting, accommodating, tolerant and less complaining about peculiarities.  In this safe haven of anonymity and total approval, people don't even realise how and when they slip into an emotional attachment with a stranger.

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This new age phenomenon of emotional connections in the virtual world is here to stay.  But we have to safeguard ourselves from falling into trap, that to an undiscerning eye, shows no evident threat.  It is a hazard so severe that, if not taken care of, could spiral into something that you can't control.

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As simple as it may sound, developing a solid relationship with your significant other decreases the probability of "online infidelity".  A unifying bond between you two, and putting your faith in similar ideas of loyalty may help you draw boundaries and around what is acceptable and what is not - in both the virtual world or in reality.

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Keeping each other in the loop about to who you connect with and who you interact with on various sites, could be another method to keep a check on yourself.

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Those who swear by the concept of "individuality" would exclaim, "Are we supposed to share everything about our lives with our partners..."  But isn't it a healthier method to share everything with each other, so that you don't fall prey to temptation?  If your intentions are clear, what's there to hide, right?...............

      ..........THE WRITER IS A PSYCHOLOGIST WITH LILAVATI HOSPITAL, MUMBAI..............

FINDING GOD .. the Gandhian Way

A part from being the father of the nation and the driving force behind our freedom struggle, Mahatma Gandhi was also a man whose faith instilled a moral compass of the highest order in not just his followers but anyone who performed public service.  If one observes the Mahatma's life, he or she would understand that spirituality was at the centre of every action undertaken by him.  Liberating the country with his concept of ashima (non-violence) and tolerance, the Mahatma had imbibed the highest ideals of faith in his followers, urging them to renounce the use of force to prove a point and treat each faith with the same respect that they would afford their own.  And it is a well known fact that Gandhi's commitment to religion did not mean commitment to a single religion.  
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Every faith had full freedom and complete equality, and in his prayer meetings his Gita has the same space as the Holy Quran, the Bible and the Guru Granth Saheb.  He spoke of a Ram Rajya because Lord Rama was an ideal, an image that most Indians could identify with, but there was no propaganda in his concept of divinity, and there was always equal space for all faiths.  When Gandhiji was asked about his opinion on God and spirituality he said, "The Truth is my God."
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And it's that universal truth which has inspired the likes of everyone from Martin Luther King Jr to Nelson Mandela.  That truth laid the foundation for the way in which Bapuji conducted his life.  He never really considered himself a religiously or communally inclined person.  Nevertheless in his morning prayers and even in his last breath - his belief in the truth being a manifestation of God was unwavering.

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Once he was asked about the relevance of the phrase Hey Ram in his life.  And he replied that he felt the same degree of peace and contentment when he uttered the phrase that another individual would feel uttering the name of Mohammed.  If both names were capable of invoking a similar effect - that of utmost calmness and fulfilment - weren't they one and the same thing?  It was just one of the pointers to how secular Gandhi was in his outlook.

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On the eve of India's independence, when Sardar Patel and Pandit Nehru unfurled and tricolour at the Red Fort,  Gandhiji was nowhere in sight.  When Bapuji was questioned about the same, he said India would not have achieved true independence until the day the Hindus and the Muslims learned to co-exist in harmony.  He literally lived by the mantra of Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam, which means the whole world is one family....

................THE WRITER IS THE DIRECTOR OF THE GANDHIAN STUDIES CENTRE AT BHAVNAGAR UNIVERSITY.....................
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MORE THAN A CENTURY AFTER MAHATMA GANDHI, THE FATHER OF THE NATION USHERED IN THE ERA OF A SPIRITUAL AND HOLISTIC APPROACH TO POLITICS AND SOCIETY, HIS PHILOSOPHY FINDS A MODERN DAY RESONANCE IN ALMOST EVERY ASPECT OF LIFE............

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.............'''''''''If one observes the Mahatma's life, he or she would understand that spirituality was at the centre of every action undertaken by him'''''''''''''''........................