There is a general notion that we become lesser human beings if we are accountable to someone. Indeed, the very matrix of most people is etched in such a way to avoid accountability; as if accountability is to be despised at any cost. All children want to grow up to being adults as fast as possible primarily because they want to be independent and stop listening to the dictates of others. But is total independence from everyone independence from everyone a desirable state of existence?
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Before I answer this question, I would like to explain that I am not speaking from the point of view of orthodoxy, which is very prevalent in our society, viz. all of us must listen to our elders at any cost. Such a belief comes loaded with its own negatives. I have seen thousands of instances where supposedly well-meaning decisions of elders have wreaked havoc in the lives of their scions. Wrong choices in careers, in professions and in later life - all forced upon by the elders - have made all too many people unhappy and I am not upholding this way of life for a moment.
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But the accountability I am referring to is in terms of a sense of spirituality and calmness which we all seek. When we are children we all need the service of our parents as mentors; such a practice is unquestioned across all societies. What happens when we grow up? We erroneously believe total independence is the way forward in adulthood. We would like to believe that we do not need any advice on matters personal as we have all the answers; in any case, we know best. Yet we do not realise that on the professional front, we are continually seeking advice to advance our careers. If you are a doctor or a lawyer or a CA, you are not only adhering to a system of internship and working under seniors for many years, but you are also joining your professional associations to keep abreast of advancements in your field.
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Even in the corporate sector, you are not only seeking - and welcoming - gyan from your seniors, but you also attend in-house development programmes and also more specialised mid-career courses offered at major business schools the world over. Then why the preference for independence in other matters?
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When I say be accountable, I mean that we become better human beings if we mentally feel accountable to our spouses, our children and others near and dear to us. Rather than rest on our seniority, or in the case of some men, their belief in being seen as macho, and above any questioning by family members, let us constantly review our attitudes and our decisions from their perspective. Let us have the humility to sit down with them and discuss if our beliefs are correct and incorrect. Let us understand that we are accountable to everyone around us as our beliefs and attitudes impact them.
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And we should do it all the more; because we love them... The writer is a renowned film and theatre actor.....
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